Monday, August 17, 2009

Dear Breyers...

From the archives of last summer with an update posted at the bottom

Dear Breyers,

I'm writing to let you know that as of tomorrow, or maybe right this minute, I will be calling my broker to buy as many shares of your stock as possible! Obviously, since you've made your packages smaller (1.75 quarts down to 1.50 quarts), your profits will be huge! I know, I know, it's really the fact of the rising cost to transport your yummy ice cream, wink, wink. Also, undoubtedly you didn't want to hit your faithful, loyal, and I suppose generally stupid customers with a price increase. Hence, the brilliant idea to just make a smaller package.

I'm sure as it was discussed in your executive board room, you instinctively knew no one would notice a little bit smaller pakage. But, oh they would notice a price increase. So for obvious reasons, you don't even have to make a "comment" on this latest downsizing, just keeping the one that occured a year ago on your web site. Ingenious!

I will warn you though, that Edy's has caught on to this little gem of an idea as well. So truly I find myself at a quandry as to which company to invest my money in. But again, I say bravo to those of you at the top (who I'm sure are making huge salary sacrifices) just to meet your margins. By putting all these strategies together you're sure to see more and more greenbacks headed your way :)

Let's just hope that Turkey Hill doesn't find out about this! They've made a huge miscalculation on letting their packages stay the same size. So their 1.75 quart packages are going to look awfully funny next to yours. Hahahaha...the jokes on them!

So, thank you, thank you, thank you! Once again big business has come out right where they should be...on top!

xoxo ~L

Update: Sadly Turkey hill did catch on to this. Well, we're all on even footing once again.


7 Shout Out:

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

I was hoping Turkey Hill wasn't going to be part of this. I'm a big fan of their peanut butter/chocolate ice cream--but can't find it at my grocery store.

Really, do they think we won't notice??? Arrrgggghhhh....

Jen @ said...

I hate that. It seems like it is happening with everything now. I noticed it with goldfish and cereal too.

Hope you are having a great week so far!


Macey said...

Man! That just plain is NOT right. Downsizing everywhere. What did they do with the extra .25 of ice cream they are saving? Shipping it to China?? Okay, that probably made no sense, I should go to bed now. :)

The Nunnallys said...

Just came by from Read With Girlfriends. It was great getting to know you through your interview. Thought this post was pretty funny too bad other companies have caught on.

The deMented Mom said...

oooh, I love that you nail these guys with sweet sarcasm..makes it so much sweeter (pardon the pun)

Cheers..I'm a new follower from Read with Girlfriends. Loved your interview!

~~Mel~~ said...

Turkey Hill makes ice cream?

K, so I'm a Canadian girl..I had no idea! lol.

Jane Anne said...

Jessica and Mimi are right - you are lots of fun! This post made me smile. I also enjoyed your interview on the Read with Girlfriends blog.

Post a Comment

Blog Widget by LinkWithin