Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I could Soooooo take him

Now don't get me wrong here. As much as I had an ache in my heart, way back in the day, for this young, hunky superman (a.k.a. Christopher Reeve). Yes, I said hunky, wanna make something of it? This is not what I'm referring to. What I am referring to is something all of us moms have felt at one time or another.

I have a toddler. This is my 4th toddler. I have changed 7,923 diapers, successfully. Meaning I get my toddler to lay down so easily it's like working with a baby...oh, it is a baby. Except that this baby is also a bucking bronco who doesn't want to have their bottom naked and laying down, unless they have done it themselves.

Do I dare tell you what that really means? Do I even have to tell you what that really means? No, I didn't think so.
Then I single handedly manage to lift their tiny little bottom up into the air ever so slightly to get just the right angle, no wait my arm is now being wrapped up by a python...no, no wait it's not a python, it's...it's...it's...my tiny little one's legs are curled around me.

She's choking the like blood out of that arm. My fingers are turning blue. My carpal tunnel is throbbing. Quick, I must be quick! What she doesn't realize (afterall she's 2) is that....ta da...I have another arm!! Ah, ha, now I've got her. So as I was saying, I carefully lift the tiny little bottom up to slide said diaper into position and whammo she lets her butt come crashing down on my hand and starts to slither backward. OK, back to my impossible task... Now, she's headed back off the diaper and the process starts all over again.

This only goes on for another 10 minutes. Really, only 10 minutes...that's not very long. Unless:

1. You need to get somone to school.
2. You need to pick someone up from school.
3. Someone, who is actually using the potty, needs help. (danger, danger, danger)
4. You just put toast in the toaster...now it's burnt.
5. The 5 year old decided to put more milk on his cereal.
6. You left the pantry door open.
7. Your other little darlings are unsupervised.
8. You realize you left your black sharpie (because I'm a labeling freak) out, unprotected.
9. Your Mother in Law is waiting downstairs, after you said you'd just be a sec.
10. The dog really, really, really needs to go out.

And the universe has decided that this will always, always, always happen when you're showing the new babysitter how easy your children are to take care of ;)
xoxo ~L

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